Hello all,

I'd like to take a moment of your time to reflect on the True Meaning of Thanksgiving. This is a momentous time of year, to be looked forward to with joy and green tidings.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks. Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

For where many see overcrowded airplanes and many more see traffic jams that legends and comparisons to L.A. are made of, one can see pure opportunity if one steps back from the fray and reflects on the True Meaning of Thanksgiving. With a careful selection of flight schedules, plenty of reading material, and an understanding with all family that the obligatory Thanksgiving dinners are to be held on Friday, not Thursday, one can reap the greatest rewards of this special time of year--hundreds of dollars in free travel, courtesy of the overflowing and generous (or at least full) airlines.

As for me, alas, I have lost my way. The highest order and the greatest path of glory on the road to Thanksgiving riches is to fly America West Airlines, site of overbookings grander than anyone else can muster, as if they wish for more revenue than can possibly be had out of an airplane. But I have failed to truly see the light this year; I am flying United Airlines, which merely overbooks rather than awesomely overstuffs. I have fallen for convenient airports and convenient schedules and airlines that aspire to adhere to schedule. To punish me for my errant ways, the Gods of Allocation and Yield Management have conspired to ensure that half of my flights are not even booked full this weekend. For shame on me; I reap what I sow. May others learn from my sorrow and pave the way for enlightenment for all.

Peace and profit,